Open Adoption and State Laws

I feel like I should start this post with a disclaimer. This blog is all about our experience. We are not lawyers. If you have legal questions, call your own lawyer. We can only share what we've learned and how we understand things to be.

Our agency specializes in Open Adoptions. Before the birth of the baby, birthparents and adoptive parents talk in the phone and often meet in person. After the birth, the relationship can be whatever the families decide. Most keep in touch through email, mailed letters and pictures and a few visits, at least for the first year. We've heard of studies looking into how openness affects the child, with very inconclusive results. However, when the studies look beyond the child to the birth and adoptive families, the results overwhelmingly show a more positive experience when the adoption is open.

In our case, we've really grown to love our brithmother and want her to be part of our family. I don't want to put details about her out here, but I will say she is a very sweet person. She is tall, thin and beautiful. A lot of her features are similar to Nick's and mine - she has dark hair, brown eyes, was blond as a child. Although her hair is straight, curls run in her family!

A friend of mine, and fellow adoptive mother whose beautiful baby girl was born in November described it to me this way: The birthmom is kind of like an aunt. Some live nearby and we get to see them often. Others live far away where we rarely get to see them, but we still keep in touch. But all of them love us, would do anything for us, and want to know we are doing well. Beautifully put! Thanks Kristin!!!!!

So, when does the baby become our child? In Ohio, the birthmother must wait 72 hours after the birth of the baby to sign papers. Once the papers are signed, her rights are terminated. Can she wait longer than 72 hours? Yes. This is her choice, her decision. She can change her mind at any point until the papers are signed. After bringing the baby home, we will have monthly visits from our social worker to make sure we are good parents and are maintaining a safe environment for the child. The adoption is normally finalized when the child is 6 months old.

There is a period of time when things may be stressful as we wait to know if we will be bringing a baby home or if the birthmother will decide to parent. We feel good about things now, but believe things can change when you hold that baby in your arms for the first time. This is where we ask for your prayers! Yes, we would be very sad. But, we know if this isn't the baby God intends us to raise, we have to wait for Him to lead us to the one who is!