After the smoothness and ease of everything leading up to Essie's birth and homecoming, we figured we would be in for a doozie the second time around! Um...we were right!
People often come to us for adoption advice/support and we send them here to read about our journey. This post is for anyone who read about the first experience and thought "boy, that seems easy!" Essie's was on the extreme easy side of things. Ruby is pretty close to the opposite extreme. The reality is that anything can happen in an adoption. Most families have a middle of the road experience, with a couple of speed bumps.
Of course, people, personalities and situation details add another dynamic to every story. To protect and respect the privacy of Miss M, I'm going to leave that out of our story.
Here are some of the bumps we've dealt with over the last 3 days....
Ruby was born in an emergency room of a hospital with no Maternity and was transported after birth to the hospital we are in currently. Hospitals are in different counties. Not normally a problem, but....since the first hospital has no maternity, they were unprepared to issue a birth certificate. Without a birth certificate, a child doesn't legally exist....as of this typing, we still have no birth certificate. What does this mean? We can't add her to insurance (because she doesn't "legally" exist right now). Also, our agency can't prepare the proper paperwork for Miss M (birthmom) to sign. Until those papers are signed, she isn't legally ours...
Adoptive situations always involve social workers. In the case of a newborn, you deal with workers both from the agency and the hospital. In Ohio, a Birthparent cannot sign paperwork to surrender rights until at least 72 hours after the birth or being informed of rights by the agency, whichever comes last. Being in a small hospital, and coming off a holiday weekend, there was no social worker on duty as everything occurred Saturday (and they don't have an on-call policy). Babies are normally kept at least 48 hours to be sure all is good. So, no social worker over the weekend isn't a problem since she wasn't 48 hours until Monday. Except that Miss M was released on Sunday. With no social worker, no one knew there were papers she had to sign that would allow someone other than her to leave the hospital with the baby. Hence the reason I'm still here....
In this case, the hospital social worker we are dealing with has limited experience. She is doing a fabulous job, but things are taking longer since she has to constantly refer to policies to make sure she's doing things properly. There is another social worker here with over 20 years experience in adoptive situations. However, because of a potential conflict of interest, she cannot be consulted.
So, yeah, speed bumps. Inconvenient. Frustrating. But, in the end, we still get to take home a baby!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Ruby
**Disclaimer** What I am posting now is not public knowledge yet. So, if we are facebook friends, please do not mention anything until I post in a couple of days. Thank you!
Our New Year started off with a bang. A big one! An unexpected one! About 6:30 last night, our social worker called. A baby girl had been born in the morning, an adoption plan was being made, and she's ours!!!! *Commence freaking out!!!!*
Things were thrown together very quickly, my parents were happy to take Essie for us, and we hit the road. As I type, we are sitting in a hospital room about an hour away from home, watching our new baby girl as she sleeps in her bed.
For personal reasons, Birthmom (Miss M) has decided to not have contact with the baby while in the hospital. So, until we arrived last night, the nurses had a ball loving on her! Not fans of calling her "baby girl", they decided to call her Ruby! :-) We have since given her a name, but I'm going to hold off on that until we can post pictures to go with it.
We are hopeful about being able to come home with Ruby tomorrow morning/early afternoon. However, the legal surrender won't happen until Tuesday evening.
That's all for now. I need a little nap! :-)
Our New Year started off with a bang. A big one! An unexpected one! About 6:30 last night, our social worker called. A baby girl had been born in the morning, an adoption plan was being made, and she's ours!!!! *Commence freaking out!!!!*
Things were thrown together very quickly, my parents were happy to take Essie for us, and we hit the road. As I type, we are sitting in a hospital room about an hour away from home, watching our new baby girl as she sleeps in her bed.
For personal reasons, Birthmom (Miss M) has decided to not have contact with the baby while in the hospital. So, until we arrived last night, the nurses had a ball loving on her! Not fans of calling her "baby girl", they decided to call her Ruby! :-) We have since given her a name, but I'm going to hold off on that until we can post pictures to go with it.
We are hopeful about being able to come home with Ruby tomorrow morning/early afternoon. However, the legal surrender won't happen until Tuesday evening.
That's all for now. I need a little nap! :-)
Friday, August 20, 2010
Silly Essie
Today we had Essie's 2 1/2 year check up. She is growing well...in the 90th percentile for her height, 97th for her weight. The nurses are always impressed with her vocal abilities. The doctor is always pleased with her progress as well and comments on how healthy she is.
Of course, as she grows, her little personality comes out more and more. I thought I'd share a few silly Essie stories from the recent days.....
* A few weeks ago, we went to my cousins wedding reception. She found the food table as soon as we arrived and had a couple of snacks. We walked outside and were surrounded by people when someone asked her a question. She began to reply with a mouth full of food and I reminded her to "Empty your mouth before you talk." She proceeded to spit her food out, answer the question, then put the food back in and continue chewing!
* We've been working on potty training and it's going very well since we started giving her 3 M&Ms for everytime she uses the potty! The other morning, Daddy had an early meeting so Essie had to go with me to Zumba. As we finished setting up, I had to go to the bathroom. While in there, I asked if she needed to potty. She looked at me and asked, "did you bring M&Ms?" I said no and she replied, "No, I don't have to potty." Little stinker!
* Mommy is always on Daddy to turn on the fan and use spray when he's finished in the bathroom (yeah, probably TMI, but I have to set up the story! :)) He's been doing very well with the fan, but most days forgets to spray. This morning, he gets Essie up and she runs into our bathroom to potty. She stops just shy of the toilet and screams "YUCK!" Then, she turns around and runs out, looks right at Nick and says, "It smells like you pooped!" Mommy nearly cried from laughter over that one!!!!
* The other day, while we were all getting dressed, she asked Daddy where his Big Girl Panties are!
I'm sure there are so many more stories...though some are not appropriate for public posting! :-)
No adoption updates to post.....hopefully soon!!!
Of course, as she grows, her little personality comes out more and more. I thought I'd share a few silly Essie stories from the recent days.....
* A few weeks ago, we went to my cousins wedding reception. She found the food table as soon as we arrived and had a couple of snacks. We walked outside and were surrounded by people when someone asked her a question. She began to reply with a mouth full of food and I reminded her to "Empty your mouth before you talk." She proceeded to spit her food out, answer the question, then put the food back in and continue chewing!
* We've been working on potty training and it's going very well since we started giving her 3 M&Ms for everytime she uses the potty! The other morning, Daddy had an early meeting so Essie had to go with me to Zumba. As we finished setting up, I had to go to the bathroom. While in there, I asked if she needed to potty. She looked at me and asked, "did you bring M&Ms?" I said no and she replied, "No, I don't have to potty." Little stinker!
* Mommy is always on Daddy to turn on the fan and use spray when he's finished in the bathroom (yeah, probably TMI, but I have to set up the story! :)) He's been doing very well with the fan, but most days forgets to spray. This morning, he gets Essie up and she runs into our bathroom to potty. She stops just shy of the toilet and screams "YUCK!" Then, she turns around and runs out, looks right at Nick and says, "It smells like you pooped!" Mommy nearly cried from laughter over that one!!!!
* The other day, while we were all getting dressed, she asked Daddy where his Big Girl Panties are!
I'm sure there are so many more stories...though some are not appropriate for public posting! :-)
No adoption updates to post.....hopefully soon!!!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Thankful
That is the theme tonight!
I feel so blessed to have had the wonderful experience we did with Essie's adoption. We've been 'waiting' since December for baby #2. I've said before we may have to wait up to 2 years for another one. In the meantime, we've received 6 or 7 emails from our agency regarding different situations. Each email is to see if we would like to be considered, and we've said yes to all of them. We firmly believe that we will end up with whatever child(ren) God intends for us.
A few weeks back, there was a situation with an 8-month old baby girl. We were one of only two families being considered for her. The birthparents decided against adoption. More recently, we were one of three families being considered for a brother/sister sibling group. Another family was chosen. About two weeks ago, we were a top choice for a 6 month old baby girl; birthmom decided against adoption. And, today, we met with a birth family for a baby due in November. They met with us and one other family. The other family was chosen because they don't currently have any children.
We have a small, faithful group of friends praying for us each time a situation comes up. We covet those prayers and really do feel peaceful. But, boy oh boy is this a roller coaster ride. Again, I'm so thankful for NOT experiencing this with Essie! I have a new appreciation for what so many other families go through waiting for their first child!
So, tonight, I'm sad, but still at peace. Until the time is right for addition(s) to our family, we get to enjoy giving all of our attention to the most beautiful two year old ever!!
I feel so blessed to have had the wonderful experience we did with Essie's adoption. We've been 'waiting' since December for baby #2. I've said before we may have to wait up to 2 years for another one. In the meantime, we've received 6 or 7 emails from our agency regarding different situations. Each email is to see if we would like to be considered, and we've said yes to all of them. We firmly believe that we will end up with whatever child(ren) God intends for us.
A few weeks back, there was a situation with an 8-month old baby girl. We were one of only two families being considered for her. The birthparents decided against adoption. More recently, we were one of three families being considered for a brother/sister sibling group. Another family was chosen. About two weeks ago, we were a top choice for a 6 month old baby girl; birthmom decided against adoption. And, today, we met with a birth family for a baby due in November. They met with us and one other family. The other family was chosen because they don't currently have any children.
We have a small, faithful group of friends praying for us each time a situation comes up. We covet those prayers and really do feel peaceful. But, boy oh boy is this a roller coaster ride. Again, I'm so thankful for NOT experiencing this with Essie! I have a new appreciation for what so many other families go through waiting for their first child!
So, tonight, I'm sad, but still at peace. Until the time is right for addition(s) to our family, we get to enjoy giving all of our attention to the most beautiful two year old ever!!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Essie's 2nd birthday
Essie associates birthday's with cake! Every time we talked about her birthday coming up, she would ask to eat some cake. So, Mommy was very proud of her for patiently waiting until her party to actually eat the cake!! One of the girls daddy works with made and decorated the cake for us. She did a GREAT job! After we sang to Essie, I let her take a lick of icing before we cut it. She loved the icing, but wasn't so happy with me when I took it away so it could be served!!
She loved opening presnts this year....though she wasn't too fond of the clothes :) She'd just look at them, toss them aside and move to the next gift..haha!
She loved opening presnts this year....though she wasn't too fond of the clothes :) She'd just look at them, toss them aside and move to the next gift..haha!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Uh-oh Mama!
Essie came running into the kitchen the other day yelling, "Mama, I made a mess. Go clean it!" I followed her into the family room to see what the mess was all about....She found daddy's foot powder, pulled the lid off and spilled the entire container on the floor.....
Road Trip!
The day after Christmas, we headed East for a couple of days in PA. Essie did a great job on the ride there. Coming home was another story.....she woke at 1:30 AM our second night there throwing up. After cleaning things up and getting settled back in bed 3 times, we dedided to pack up and leave - at 3:00AM!!! Since mommy doesn't do well with that kind of sick, I drove and Nick tended to Essie! Did I mention we hit a white out while driving along the highest point on Route 80???
It took Essie a couple of days to feel better, but we think it was a reaction to milk. She is intolerant, but can normally have some dairy products and be okay.
We are so thankful we made the trip, though, as our beloved Aunt Essie passed away a few weeks later. We are sad that our little Essie will not get to personally know the wonderful woman after whom we chose to name her, but thankful we were able to see her one last time....
Essie and Daddy with Uncle Warren and Aunt Essie
Essie's (2nd) cousins, Caleb and Noah
Playing with Uncle Warren
Ess with her headphones watching one of her MANY movies as we rode along....
Essie and Daddy with Uncle Frank and Aunt Ev
Essie with her (2nd) cousins Angela and Kaitlin
It took Essie a couple of days to feel better, but we think it was a reaction to milk. She is intolerant, but can normally have some dairy products and be okay.
We are so thankful we made the trip, though, as our beloved Aunt Essie passed away a few weeks later. We are sad that our little Essie will not get to personally know the wonderful woman after whom we chose to name her, but thankful we were able to see her one last time....
Essie and Daddy with Uncle Warren and Aunt Essie
Essie's (2nd) cousins, Caleb and Noah
Playing with Uncle Warren 
Ess with her headphones watching one of her MANY movies as we rode along....
Essie and Daddy with Uncle Frank and Aunt Ev
Essie with her (2nd) cousins Angela and Kaitlin
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